A Complete Guide to the Guys of the Gilmore Girls

Do you remember all the Gilmore guys from the Gilmore Girls series? Here is a complete breakdown of the guys, their demise and their chances of returning in the upcoming Netflix reboot of the series.

Rory’s Boys

Dean
The nice guy.

Seemingly perfect (tall, handsome, built her a car – the usual)…except for the fact that he was boring AF and couldn’t connect with Rory on an intellectual level. She leaves him for bad boy Jess and then has a classic bout of jealousy/regret, after Jess leaves her and Dean marries someone more on his intellectual level.

She hooks up with him, his wife finds out, ends his marriage and they start a very awkward relationship. They end it and we don’t really ever hear from Dean again. No seriously…did he move?

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? I’m assuming that he is still restocking the shelves at Doose’s and having elicit affairs with Stars Hallow housewives…including that skeezy friend of Liz’s that was always hitting on Luke. (crazy Kathy?)

Will he return for the reboot? Of course, someone has got to be there to sell Rory and Lorelai their daily allotment of Twinkies.

Jess
The bad boy.

Such a classic turn for Rory, to go from ‘do no wrong Dean’ to ‘I will light your house on fire if I feel like it Jess’. I mean, they tried to make something happen between her and the Chilton bad boy Tristan, but he was called away to One Tree Hill. Jess was more Rory’s type anyway.

Sure he was a major screw up and treated her like dirt, but they both liked books. They both carried books around wherever they went – WHO DOES THAT? Not normal teenagers.

There was the obvious deficiency of his being an employee of the month at Wal-Mart (major blow to his street cred) and not going to school to the point that he failed out (your girlfriend is going to Yale – you kind of need to graduate high school). We see him months later when he shows up with bad hair and crazy eyes and tries to get Rory to run away with him – and it was a major turn off. We get it, you wanted us all to stop pining over Jess. But then he WRITES A BOOK, gets it published and cleans himself up…and still doesn’t end up with Rory? There is major unfinished business here team Gilmore.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? Reading, writing and scouring the internet to expunge any trace of his Wal-Mart existence.

Will he return for the reboot? Hell yes. If Jess isn’t a prime contender, the husband or in some way reuniting with Rory – an internet revolt will occur. Guaranteed.

Tristan
The blimp on the radar of Rory’s existence.

While she was dating Dean, they broke up for a second. During this time she kissed Tristan at a party and then cried…so he definitely needs to be on her boy list. I mean, the list just isn’t that long. Shortly after he was sent away to military school, where all characters are sent when their storylines become useless but they need to give the audience some closure.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? After graduating military school, Tristan got married to a stripper that he met while wearing his uniform. They had two kids and then she left him, without a trace. He now lives in his parent’s pool house with his two children Crystal and Candy.

Will he return for the reboot? You can’t get Chad Michael Murray to return for shows he was actually a part of, let alone one that he had a five second part in. I’m gonna say, firm no.

Marty
The sad puppy.

Marty never dated Rory. They met the night that he ended up passed out in her hallway butt naked and then became weird movie friends. He was obviously in love with her and stayed friends with her until she started dating Logan.

He reappeared later in the series dating her friend Lucy, who he met after stalking her when she was in a play. Needless to say, Marty is creepy AF and Rory did right by never dating him.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? After graduating from Yale, Marty became a high-end bartender, using his tips to pay off his student loan debt and float his life as a single guy living in a bachelor apartment in New Jersey.

Will he return for the reboot? Marty is not invited…but you may see him photobombing someone from the bushes…in the nude. Classic Marty.

Logan
The charming, handsome and rich suitor.

Ah, how we loved Logan Huntzberger. He was the reformed wild child and the improbable choice to the ‘we hate rich people’ way Rory was raised.

Everything was going great until he proposed to her in front of her family. What he didn’t count on was that Rory, much like her mother, is scared to death of commitment…and only 22. Both played an equal part to her return of his ring and the subsequent dismantling of their relationship. I mean, he lost his trust-fund, so it’s not like they would have been driving off into the sunset in a Bugatti anyways.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? After moving to the Silicon Valley, he became an impressively successful businessman and has a software empire that rivals that of Mark Zuckerberg and the Google guys. His dad no longer thinks of him as ‘my idiot spawn’ but as ‘a guy I would be okay leaving my money to when I die’.

Will he return for the reboot? Of course. The Good Wife is ending, so there is an opening in Matt Czuchry’s filming schedule. Also, we need to know if Rory would reconsider now that she is 10 years older and possibly ready to settle down.

Lorelai’s Men

Christopher
The baby daddy.

What an exhausting back and forth those two had. The whiplash.

He knocked her up, tried to marry her, was unreliable for years, finally got his shit together, was going to try to make things work with her and then finds out that he knocked up his girlfriend, decided to try dad-ing, his girlfriend ditches him and their baby, he dads it alone, he gets back together with Lorelai, convinces her to marry him in France, he moves in with her…and just when you think all is well…you realize that Christopher is not a part of Lorelai and Rory’s Christmas traditions and you just know, even after ALL they went through to get here – THIS WILL NEVER WORK OUT. They divorce and Christopher is once again, dad-ing it on his own.

It’s kind of sad, if you were team Christopher…which I am pretty sure no one was.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? He finally found someone who is not crazy and into the fact that he now has a spazzy psycho teenage girl. They are married and had another kid together…because he is extremely fertile and pretty much knocks up everyone his peen touches. He has since had some snipping done on his man parts.

Will he return for the reboot? Of course. Who else would give Rory away at her wedding? (If Rory doesn’t get married at the end of the reboot – someone is getting cut. I’m talking to you Amy Sherman-Pallidino.)

Max
The hot teacher.

Single moms always end up dating the hot teacher, well, that is according to the entertainment industry. Max was nice. He was Lorelai’s version of Dean. Nice, kind of boring…safe.

The most edgy thing about him was that he was Rory’s teacher so it was kind of naughty for him and Lorelai to make out in the classroom, but we all knew that was not going anywhere after Rory graduated from Chilton. Nope. Sorry Max, you got yourself a runaway bride.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? He is now a university lit professor in California. He is still not really over Lorelai, so he makes up for it by banging his students who dress similar to her and who have the same level of emotional maturity – there are many.

Will he return for the reboot? Max is too busy soaking up the rays to make the trek back to Connecticut. He will surely creep all of the reunion magic on Facebook and cry himself to sleep, but he ain’t coming.

Jason (Digger)
The forbidden.

I mean, Lorelai does have a trend of dating guys that are off limits. Daughter’s teacher, dad’s business partner, town diner guy. Date someone who won’t make the world implode when things go south!

Let’s not forget that Digger was not just forbidden as Richard’s business partner, but he was also a super weirdo that couldn’t sleep with anyone in his bed and he was all kinds of awkward. He seemed to be kind of a good person, which then really sucked for him when Richard screwed over his career and ruined his life. He left gracefully…which was unfortunate. I was expecting our first Gilmore Girls murder attempt, but it never happened.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? Plotting his revenge on Richard and his father, obviously. He has built back up his connections and whatever else you do in the insurance business and is coming in for the kill…then his dad and Richard both die, so he never gets to finish them off. Poor Digger, never gets his way.

Will he return for the reboot? Of course not. Richard is dead now, so there is no reason for him to make an appearance.

Alex
The coffee guy.

How was the relationship between Lorelai and Sheriff Swan from Twilight not a bigger thing? This guy is opening a coffee store and took Lorelai coffee tasting…that’s like letting a crack addict loose on the evidence locker.

I don’t think he got enough screen time or enough props. And then Lorelai just discarded him and we never find out if he actually opened the coffee chain or not. What a travesty!

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? He is now the coffee king of New England. He has totally forgotten about Lorelai and is currently on his second wife.

Will he return for the reboot? I’m guessing no, since he wasn’t even allowed to return to end whatever his relationship with Lorelai was when the show was still on.

Luke
The one. ← Right?!

I mean, Luke was always the one. The surrogate dad to Rory for her whole life, the feeder of the family, the fixer of the home and the only person who could stand Lorelai’s crazy without needing to change her (I mean, he was rarely impressed by her, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t a deal breaker for him).

He was the only one that Lorelai actually got sad over ending things with (in the way that a person should get sad when they actually love someone – ugly crying while shirking your work responsibilities and all communication with the outside world) and the only guy that she ever proposed to. Annnd who can forget that horoscope story that he told her on their first date…that was so effing cute (kind of stalkerish, but cute).

The last episode where he puts together that going away party for Rory – the best. If the series didn’t end with the semblance of him and Lorelai getting back together it would have been recorded in history as the worst series finale ever produced.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? He got married to Lorelai (because he would have been an idiot NOT to at this point…and to make them wait another ten years would just be rude) and they spend the holidays with their two girls, Rory and April.

He still owns the diner, he still hates Taylor and he has added three new plaid shirts, one pair of jeans and a new baseball cap to his wardrobe. Lorelai bought all of them.

Will he return for the reboot? Does Scott Patterson have anything else to do? I think not. And if Luke doesn’t come back, where will they have breakfast? It’s an important part of the show.

…and

Dave Rygalski
The best damn boy on Gilmore Girls.

Sure Dave Rygalski never dated Rory or Lorelai and was only on the show for one season, but he was the best. The stuff he did to be able to see Lane was pretty impressive…and then he went off to school in California (also code for “I am now starring in the hit TV series The O.C. – later suckers”) and they…broke up? And then Lane ended up with Zach? I don’t know what was the bigger farce, the fact that Dave and Lane didn’t last, or that – after dating Dave – she thought marrying Zach was the best life had to offer. I can’t even.

What has he been doing for the past 10 years? Dave became the nerdy lead in a TV series while going to school in California. He found out the Lane married Zach and had a brief moment where he thought that maybe he was not the best thing that ever happened to the fictional world, but then he got over it and is back to being awesome.

Will he return for the reboot? Dave is too good to return to Stars Hollow. If you would like to see him, talk to his agent.