Get out! Five tips to help you feel at home in a new city

When I moved from Boston to Calgary in 2013, I didn’t fully prepare for the realities of living in a new place. I made the decision to move months in advance, had a place to live (okay my Calgarian boyfriend took care of this part) and had begun networking for career opportunities, but that was pretty much it. While moving was exciting and Calgary is a wonderful place to live, there were definitely some tough days, and adjusting to a new place didn’t happen overnight.

Hindsight is 20/20, so here are a few things I wish I had done when I first moved. Once I eventually figured these things out, they helped me feel right at home in a totally new place.

1. Get outside
The biggest mistake I made in moving was not getting outside enough in the first two months. I let the stress of searching for a job and managing a tight budget overwhelm me, so I ended up spending a lot of time sitting in our partially furnished apartment.

Before I moved, I was doing Crossfit* a few days a week and was very active. While this wasn’t an option in my post-move budget, there were plenty of cost-effective options available to me. Instead I spent about a month inside, sitting on the floor watching SVU on my laptop and writing cover letters.

My quality time with Detectives Benson and Stabler was not helpful or constructive.

In addition to being a great way to stay in shape and blow off some steam, going outside helps you get to know your neighborhood and your new city. Use this time to look for walking paths, stores or cafes that interest you, and to get a feel for your neighborhood. Is it mostly older people, or are there lots of people your age? Is it families or single people? These answer can help direct you where to hang out when you’re looking to make friends.

2. Ask people what their favorite places are
A month after I arrived, someone told me, “Calgary’s a great city, but it doesn’t give up its secret spots easily,” and I’ve found this to be very true. While Yelp and UrbanSpoon might be helpful, they don’t capture everything or align with your likes and dislikes, so cut out the middleman and ask people what their favorite spots are. Let them know you recently moved during the conversation—letting people know you are new in town encourages people to open up about what they love and share the city’s secrets with you.

In addition to helping you feel connected to your new home, it’s a great way to find the best restaurants, yoga studios, eyebrow waxers, and most importantly, the best pizza places. Keep a running list of recommendations on Google docs or Evernote so you don’t forget any. Added bonus: now you have a list of great local places that you can share with others! It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

3. Fight the FOMO (aka Fear Of Missing Out)
I didn’t know anyone my age besides my boyfriend when I moved. I was at home by myself all day, struggling to be a person, and every time I looked at Instagram, it was like all my former city friends were living in a Noxema commercial without me. While missing my friends hasn’t gone away, I have learned ways to manage it. I have wonderful, thoughtful, fun friends, and many of them have visited, sent mail (even cupcakes), or made time to see me when I was back at home, in addition to countless Sunday night Skype dates. Make an effort to keep in touch, and you’ll find your friendships don’t change all that much.

This really illustrates my post-moving struggle—this was me after a long day of sitting inside, capped off with a trip to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard…Jesus take the wheel.

Also, remember that while of course you miss your friends, they’re not together 24/7 having a great time eating brunch and drinking on patios (…right guys?). They’re stressed about jobs, school and money the same way you are—just in a different place. And they’re still getting on each other’s nerves from time to time, as all friends do. There’s no way Marge went a month without losing her apartment key and she wouldn’t answer your texts on time no matter what city you were in. Remember that!

Making new friends obviously helps too, but make sure you put the time in to manage your relationships, and the emotions that come with missing your friends from home.

4. Keep up to date with local news
Listen to what drives conversations and take the time to figure out some regular talking points in your new city. Are there prominent politicians, athletes or journalists you keep hearing about? Google them so you can contribute to the conversation, or at least follow along—for example, the Stampeders were playing well when I moved to Calgary, so I read up on Jon Cornish so I could participate in conversations. You don’t want to be perceived as the person who shows up and makes no effort to know what’s going on, so take the time (I had plenty) and get to know the basics.

5. Talk about your former home in moderation
This piece of moving advice came from my dad, and while it sounded harsh at the time, I found it was spot on. This is surprisingly hard to do—it’s tempting to chip into every conversation with tidbits about home. This is certainly not to say don’t talk about your former home; it is part of your experience, which is a valuable part of conversation. However, make sure you don’t use it as a crutch in every discussion, and limit the amount of times you refer back to it. Getting to know the area will help with that, and when in doubt, go back to tip #2 and get some more intel that will help you get to know your new city.

Moving somewhere new can be intimidating and will have its tough moments, but it is a pretty special experience. My last tip (one from my mom, so you know it’s good) is to make sure you pat yourself on the back for making the move. Moving to another city is a big learning experience—congratulate yourself for stepping up to the challenge and take time to celebrate what you’ve accomplished. May I suggest a Blizzard?

*The first rule of Crossfit is you have to tell people you went to Crossfit.