Reasons why you probably hate being single
All the single ladies put your hands up. Now put your hand down if you’re a 20-something, wishing you were in a relationship and unwillingly alone. It’s not the end of the world, but it can be a giant pain in the ass if you are tired of going on dates, wearing bandage dresses to the club and spending your movie nights alone with a whole bowl of popcorn to yourself.
Don’t get me wrong, being single has its definite upsides. There’s a whole list of them here, but it also has its downsides. There is a reason some people settle. I’m going to go with any of the following reasons below.
Reasons why the twenty-something hates being single:
WEDDINGS.
All of your friends are getting married, ALL OF THEM. Maybe you don’t care about that. But you definitely care about the fact that you have to go to 10 weddings a summer, you never get to bring a plus one, the singles table is NOT all it’s cracked up to be and destination weddings are expensive as hell when you are flying solo.
MATERNAL CLOCK.
You cannot run into an elderly relative without them reminding you that your clock is ticking and it’s mere months before you become barren and any hopes you may have had for children will be dead, along with your uterus.
THE FRIEND SHIFT.
Your friends are getting younger because none of your friends your own age have a desire to go out on Friday night. They are sitting at home with their other half, watching Netflix, and drinking wine in their sweatpants – basically all of the things you wish you could do without the entire world thinking you are a loner who is going to die alone.
UNINTENTIONAL WORK-A-HOLIC.
Your boss will pick you to do the all night project. What? It’s not like you had plans or a kid to go home and take care of. You’re living the life of freedom, now get on with it slave.
OTHER PEOPLE’S KIDS.
Your friends are having babies. If you want babies, you are devastated every time you see a positive pee stick on Facebook. If you don’t want babies, you are annoyed that every conversation with your friend, who at one point was the life of the party, is about diapers and the way her nipples bleed when she feeds her baby. Meanwhile, you aren’t even close to having a baby. You’re not even close to getting laid.
FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE GAY.
If you have the unfortunate experience of being single for more than a couple of years after your turn 25, you will undoubtedly get asked by your most accepting family member if you are gay…because no one at this age should be single for this long, just come out of the closet already.
ALL THE BILLS, ONE PAY CHEQUE.
You live alone, which means you are paying for everything. Which means you are probably pinching pennies to get by, while your relationship friends split all their bills with their significant others and have more money for the shoes that you wish you could afford.
LIVING IN LIMBO.
Or, you live with a roommate…who probably has a boyfriend and you are constantly living in the limbo of when they will tell you they are moving out, or that they want their boyfriend to move in and you will need to hit the road.
This list could go on…and on, and on…but you get the picture.
When you were younger you probably had it in your mind that by a certain age you would be married and by a certain age you would have children.
It’s probably OK to assume that your life plan at 14 did not have you living alone in a 5 story walk up eating microwaved popcorn for dinner every night scrolling through Tinder wincing at your prospects when you were 30. And if 14 year old you thought that this scenario was possible – mad props. Tinder is a hard pill to swallow, let alone predict.
The hardest part about being single at this age is the idea that you are not supposed to be. You didn’t think you would be when you were younger and society doesn’t really let you think that it is OK now. The more weddings you go to and the more times Aunt Merna tells you that your baby maker is as good as gone, the more you will think, “When the hell is this supposed to happen?” Everyone has told you that at some point….”Don’t worry, it’ll happen when you least expect it.” Like that isn’t the most annoying phrase ever. (Please, all the non-single ladies – just stop it with that garbage already.)
One day you won’t be single and you will look back and be annoyed that you spent so many hours being worried about dying alone. One day you will yearn for the days of microwave popcorn and sleeping in on Saturdays.
