Online dating has become the norm for many people. Tinder swiping, online profile perusing, multiple coffee dates from hell…this is where we are as a society. Five years ago if you told someone you were dating someone you met online the person would respond with genuine concern for your safety, now it is no big deal.
There are some of you who have never tried online dating. No sweat. Maybe you were scared to, you had no problem picking up people on your own, or maybe you had been in a relationship for the past five or ten years and now you are single. It’s probably time for all of you to go through your photo album and find a good headshot. It’s time to start online dating.
I wasn’t always this pro-online people shopping. My story starts out probably a lot like yours: skeptical, terrified and somewhat ashamed. No need for that when you first get started. Let me explain.
When I made the conscious decision to begin online dating I felt ill for three days.
It took me over a week to finally sign up. I am not sure what I was thinking at that point. Like making an account was like signing an arranged marriage contract? And heaven FORBID someone I knew saw my profile. It was like, “Once I make this profile people will know…that I am online dating.” And for some reason that was the worst thing in the world?
The fact that I thought anyone would know me seems absurd. Was I thinking that I am that popular that I would know every male in this city of over 1 million people between the ages of 26 and 35? I know…I’m an idiot.
I did not know a single man who showed up in my ‘matches’. Literally. After I got over my disappointment of not being able to creep dating profiles of guys I knew, I realized my other fear, needing to commit to something, this was also unfounded.
Once you make your profile you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. You could make one and not respond to any messages and not send any out.
It’s like online shopping, you can look at items all day, but you don’t have to buy anything. Heck, you don’t even need to put anything in your shopping cart for later if you don’t want to.
Guys will message you and you can ignore them, like you would any pop-up add – unless it was for a really great pair of shoes, then you would debate looking into the price, material, height of the heel etc.
That first night of online date-shopping was a whole new world of fun. Did you know that TONS of men think that bathroom mirror selfies are an acceptable form of profile photo? Did you also know that 20% of men who do online dating believe that a mirror selfie of just their abs is going to part legs and give them free vagina access? Yes, there are those girls out there that are kindred spirits with these men, but…gross.
I don’t know what was more annoying, the low quality flip phone selfies or the photos of the drunk bros surrounded by girls. You are sandwiched by two hot blondes at a nightclub, am I supposed to be impressed?
I had entered the world of online dating. It was the beer hall all over again, except this time I got to look from my living room couch. I am kicking myself for not signing up for this sooner. It is waaaaay cheaper than paying for the amount of booze I needed to make those bar nights bearable.
That is how it starts. See, not painful, not scary and certainly not dull.