Things you don’t need to do before you turn 30

There are a lot of articles, books and ideas that float around encouraging twenty-somethings to have a bucket-list of things to do before they turn 30…because you know, once you turn 30 you’re basically dead.

A lot of the times I wonder, who are these people that are able to do this stuff – trust fund children? People with no career goals? Most of the common ‘must dos’ cost money or time that an average twenty-something doesn’t have. Sure, I’d like to go to Paris, but I don’t think a weekend trip with the park bench accommodations are really going to make it the time of my life.
Here are some things you don’t need to do before you turn thirty.

Go to Times Square for New Year’s Eve
Do you know when the most expensive time of the year is to travel? Winter holidays. Do you know what I don’t want to do for 15 hours on New Year’s Eve? Stand in one spot in the dead of winter with thousands of people pushing up against me while I wait to watch a giant ball float to the ground to tell me that it is midnight EST – even though I have a watch. Do you know what sounds like hell on earth? Time’s Square on NYE.

Disconnect for a week
Why is everyone so obsessed with millennials ‘disconnecting’ and not using technology for extended periods of time? You say this, but then when we don’t answer our phones, respond to your texts or reply to your emails you assume we died. Besides being addicted to Instagram, some people don’t have the luxury of being able to disconnect for that long.

Quit your job if you hate it
Let’s be real, most people hate their jobs. If everyone who was unhappy with their daily grind quit, there would be no one to take your order at McDonald’s and no one to do data entry. Quit your job if you have a better one to go to – otherwise, tough it out.

Ditch the people in your life that cause drama
There is always going to be someone in your life that causes drama. Better advice would be, learn how to deal with dramatic people without becoming a drama queen/king yourself. You can’t just “get rid” of people who you don’t like, get dramatic or smell bad. There will always be those people in your life – and you just have to learn to deal with them.

Adopt a pet
First, this is the politically correct term for telling someone to get an animal. Heaven forbid you go to a breeder. Second, make sure you have time for a pet. Do you work 10 hours a day and spend most weekends out with your friends? Maybe you shouldn’t have a dog locked up in your 400 sq. ft. apartment then. Just sayin.

Eat Pray Love
Remember when Julia Roberts quit her LIFE and traveled around the world? Must be nice. When I find a cave of gold and feel like I can give up on the career I am working so hard to establish, I will make sure to give this a shot.

Have a one night stand
If this is how you roll, then that’s fine. But by putting it on a list, it is making it seem like it is a rite of passage. Listen, this is not for everyone. If you are pushing 30 and you haven’t done this, chances are you are not going to find life and fulfillment from a quickie and STI test that should follow.

Get arrested
I am not sure if I need to explain why this (which I have actually seen in some of the thousands of lists out there) is the worst idea ever. If I do need to explain it, then maybe you need to spend a night in a cell.



Jes spends approximately 25% of her income on brunch, really likes to laugh and is certain if Regina George punched her in the face she would not think it was awesome.

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